惧怕
惧怕在我们的生活中是一股强大的力量。在雅各的大半生当中，他都试图成为一个能掌控局面的人，一个靠自己走出一切困境的人。在他成功应付了最近与拉班的尴尬遭遇后，我们可能认为他对自己的能力很有信心。
然而现在有情报说，他的哥哥以扫带着400人（一支军队？）来见他，雅各吓坏了。他还能做什么来救自己呢？我们第一次听到他绝望的呼求，他知道若没有神的帮助和能力，自己什么也做不了。
我们常常以为我们有资源来处理任何可能出现在我们面前的问题。也许，我们甚至会说，自己全然倚靠神的能力，但我们常常活得好像自己的努力和学识才是真正重要的。
当我们面对自己无法掌控的处境，我们才意识到，我们不能救自己脱离最深的惧怕。我们无法保持健康，我们无法挽回自己的名誉，我们无法调解破裂的关系。我们无法救自己脱离罪。我们惟有倚靠神的恩典和大能。
你已经到了绝望呼求的地步了吗？和惧怕相比，神在基督里的恩典更强大。赞美神的奇妙恩典！
恩慈的神啊，我不配你的良善和信实。主啊，赦免我，拯救我。我将自己单单交托于你，奉耶稣的名，阿们。
创世记 32:3-21
3雅各打发人先往西珥地去，就是以东地，见他哥哥以扫，
4吩咐他们说：“你们对我主以扫说：‘你的仆人雅各这样说：我在拉班那里寄居，直到如今。
5我有牛、驴、羊群、仆婢，现在打发人来报告我主，为要在你眼前蒙恩。’”
6所打发的人回到雅各那里，说：“我们到了你哥哥以扫那里，他带着四百人，正迎着你来。”
7雅各就甚惧怕，而且愁烦，便把那与他同在的人口和羊群、牛群、骆驼分做两队，
8说：“以扫若来击杀这一队，剩下的那一队还可以逃避。”
9雅各说：“耶和华我祖亚伯拉罕的神，我父亲以撒的神啊，你曾对我说：‘回你本地本族去，我要厚待你。’
10你向仆人所施的一切慈爱和诚实，我一点也不配得。我先前只拿着我的杖过这约旦河，如今我却成了两队了。
11求你救我脱离我哥哥以扫的手，因为我怕他来杀我，连妻子带儿女一同杀了。
12你曾说：‘我必定厚待你，使你的后裔如同海边的沙，多得不可胜数。’”
13当夜，雅各在那里住宿，就从他所有的物中拿礼物要送给他哥哥以扫：
14母山羊二百只，公山羊二十只；母绵羊二百只，公绵羊二十只；
15奶崽子的骆驼三十只，各带着崽子；母牛四十只，公牛十只；母驴二十匹，驴驹十匹。
16每样各分一群，交在仆人手下，就对仆人说：“你们要在我前头过去，使群群相离，有空闲的地方。”
17又吩咐尽先走的说：“我哥哥以扫遇见你的时候，问你说：‘你是哪家的人？要往哪里去？你前头这些是谁的？’
18你就说：‘是你仆人雅各的，是送给我主以扫的礼物。他自己也在我们后边。’”
19又吩咐第二、第三和一切赶群畜的人说：“你们遇见以扫的时候也要这样对他说。
20并且你们要说：‘你仆人雅各在我们后边。’”因雅各心里说：“我藉着在我前头去的礼物解他的恨，然后再见他的面，或者他容纳我。”
21于是礼物先过去了，那夜雅各在队中住宿。
Fear
"In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well." - Genesis 32:7
Fear can be a powerful force in our lives. For much of his life, Jacob had tried to act as a person in control, someone who could figure his way out of any hard place. After he successfully navigated his recent awkward encounter with Laban, we might think he would have felt confident in his abilities.
But now, as reports suggested that Esau, his brother, was coming to meet him with 400 men (an army?), Jacob was terrified. What more could he do to save himself? For the first time, we hear him praying the desperate prayer of a man who knows he can do nothing apart from God's help and power.
We often imagine that we have the resources to deal with any problem that might come our way. Perhaps we even say that we depend wholly on God's power, but we so often live as if our efforts and our know-how are what really matter.
When we face a situation we cannot control, we realize that we cannot rescue ourselves from our deepest fears. We cannot preserve our health. We cannot redeem our reputation. We cannot reconcile our broken relationships. We cannot save ourselves from our sin. We can depend only on the grace and power of God.
Have you come to the point of desperate prayer? As powerful as fear is, God's grace in Christ is far more powerful. Praise God for his amazing grace!
Gracious God, I am unworthy of your kindness and faithfulness. Forgive and rescue me, Lord. I trust myself to you alone, for Jesus' sake. Amen.
诵读: 骆云秀
片头: 张妙阳
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