这段经文，时常被一些觉得他们必须对某人说诚实话的人引用作为借口，然而他们往往没有做到用爱心去说这些话。相反，他们轻率而苛刻地说，结果伤了别人的心，严重损害了彼此的关系。保罗不是给我们许可证允许我们这样行，他乃是鼓励基督徒说话要诚实和有爱心，且没有任何威吓或操控的成分。
当然，如果有人犯错需要纠正，“用爱心说诚实话”有时也难免带来对质和指责的成分。耶稣自己也在启示录 3:19说：“凡我所疼爱的，我就责备管教他。”不过，保罗也告诫那位由他委派在以弗所的年青牧者提摩太：“不可严责老年人，只要劝他如同父亲”（提摩太前书 5:1）。
有时，我们必须说别人不爱听的话，但我们要怀着爱心来说。假如没有人指出明显的问题，这个问题只会一直存在，就像俗语所说的“卧室里的大象（elephant in the room—译者按：明明存在、却人人都在回避的问题）”。若有这种情况，我们必须用爱心来小心处理，每一步都要祈求主的引领。
主啊，我们知道，若要与人对质甚至要求别人改变时，出于爱与谨慎的话是何等重要。求叫我们心里不存任何诡诈，却怀着爱、谦虚、恭敬，和诚实；不伤害，不操控别人。奉耶稣的名祈求，阿们。
以弗所书 4:11-16
11他所赐的，有使徒，有先知，有传福音的，有牧师和教师，
12为要成全圣徒，各尽其职，建立基督的身体，
13直等到我们众人在真道上同归于一，认识神的儿子，得以长大成人，满有基督长成的身量，
14使我们不再作小孩子，中了人的诡计和欺骗的法术，被一切异教之风摇动，飘来飘去，就随从各样的异端；
15惟用爱心说诚实话，凡事长进，连于元首基督，
16全身都靠他联络得合式，百节各按各职，照着各体的功用彼此相助，便叫身体渐渐增长，在爱中建立自己。
"Speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ." - Ephesians 4:15
This verse is sometimes quoted as an excuse by people who feel they must speak the truth to someone—and yet they fail miserably to do so with love. Instead, their thoughtless, harsh way of talking to others hurts feelings and leaves gaping wounds in their relationships. Paul isn't giving us license to do that. He's encouraging Christians to speak truthfully and lovingly, without intimidation or manipulation.
Sometimes, surely, "speaking the truth in love" involves confronting and rebuking when correction is needed. Jesus himself said as much in Revelation 3:19: "Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline." But Paul also cautioned young Timothy, whom he had appointed pastor of the church at Ephesus, "Do not rebuke an older man harshly, but exhort him as if he were your father" (1 Timothy 5:1).
Sometimes uncomfortable words have to be spoken, but they must be said in a loving way. If no one talks about an obvious problem, it will remain lurking in the background, like the proverbial "elephant in the room." Such situations must be handled with love and care, asking for the Lord's guidance every step of the way.
Lord, we know how necessary love and sensitivity are when confronting others and asking for change. Make us guileless in our speaking. May we be loving, humble, respectful, and truthful, not hurtful or manipulative. In Jesus, Amen.
诵读: 楚云
片头: 张妙阳
